We're looking for new Donut Bot introduction messages!

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{Username} defied Jake. Give them the punishment of a life time!
{Username} went to Springfield A & M.
{Username}, welcome the Donut Team Discord. Should you have any problems, talk to our councilors, Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney. 
{Username}, welcome to the Donut Team Discord. Here's your donut gruel. 9 out of 10 members can't tell the difference! 
{Username}, if you're here for that colossal donut, ehh... Gordon CMB has it!
however do NOT edit prior messages. Send new ones.
So, I guess this means I need to re-add some of my previously added sayings? Ok
I'd like to say some lame meme right now, but let's welcome {Username} instead!

Hey, {Username}, have you ever tried Springfield Noire? Don't do it

Take three guesses who joined the server? it's {Username}!

{Username} is out of custody! Give him a warm medic bag

Hey people, {Username} just delayed Donut Mod 4!

(If I shouldn't have done that, sorry)
Besides, why should I have that colossal donut, @DeepFriedBurger? :p
Gordon CMB:

Uhh... Oh no! I blamed CMB! Quick, think of an excuse to get me out of here! Excuse me, I think I have to go... shuck some corn.
Hey Gordon, you didn't have to repost it. I meant prior to me saying that, it was okay. But editing older messages now would make it tricky to know which ones I already added!
I already told you, Gordon CMB has it!

Or Colou.
So we'll march dayy and nighttt by the big cooling towerr. (Username) has the plant, but we have the powerr.
...and we'll march day and night by the big cooling tower. We have the plant and {username} has the power!
{Username}, you're going undercover to discover a third strike on Gordon CMB. We already have two strikes, namely: Strike 1: Releasing Springfield Noire (the foulest of all crimes) , and Strike 2: Stealing a colossal donut without a licence!
{Username} leaked Donut Mod 4! Give them 400 Karma immediately!
{Username} has increased Donut Mod 4's development time! They must find the jade monkey!
{Username}, sorry, we're all out of donuts. Even the giant plastic one has gone missing!
{Username}, Jake is watching us. He's the eye of Springfield. 
{Username}, if you happen to see Gordon CMB here, tell him that Morgan Brown is after him to find that donut.
{Username}, you can only join if you do us a favor: don't join the Discord.
Must... kill... {username}!
{Username}, if you are responsible for a crime, click here. If you are not, exit the page. You have exited the page and a donut team police car is now speeding towards your home. Please consider buying some Donut Team merchandise such as this donut.
Good evening {username}. All your mods are belong to us.
I'll stop with the colossal donut jokes now.
No harm intended.
" It says no (username)'s, we're allowed to have one "

(from : www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbXjt_ZlVOE)
All your welcome messages are belong to us
(Not a submission.)
(Below are submissions.)
{Username}, come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB.
{Username}, if you're looking for the Donut Team server, this isn't it. This is the.. uhh... Donut Team server... heh heh heh... do'h!
Someone tell Jake that {username} is discussing piracy so that they get kicked off the server.
I would welcome you, {username}, but Jake has already been told that you are discussing piracy and you will be banned and so there's no point in welcoming you.
{Username} will be baked and there will be cake.
{Username}, you must pass the initiation test before joining the server. There are three tasks: 1: Complete Springfield Noire, 2: get 400 karma, and 3: Speedrun the game in 5 minutes.
Hey you, {username}! How tough are you? What's that? You have me surrounded? In that case go on inside. 
What kind of {username} would join the server 3 AM?
Welcome, {username}. Are you a robot?
Someone tell Jake that {username} is abusing the forums.
In other news, [username}, or better known as Lucas' doppelganger, has joined the server.
Oh yeah Mr {username}! AHHHHHHH!
Welcome to the Donut Team Discord. Would you like some fries with that?
{Username}, I AM ERROR.
Are we all out of ideas or something? The main post still says that there's no exact deadline, and we haven't seen any of these submissions in action yet.